Samantha's Journal - Entry # 10

I woke up craving meat today. Not just any food—meat. It wasn’t just a random craving, either. My body felt weaker, and I knew I needed the protein, the nutrients, the strength. But we never planned to raise livestock, not with the risks of being discovered. We’ve been living off crops and what little we can gather from the town, but that hasn’t been enough.

That’s when I really looked at Saul. He’s lost weight. I don’t know how I didn’t notice before, but his face is sharper, his jaw more defined. He’s always been lean, but now? He’s thinner than he should be. It hit me then—he’s been giving me the best of everything. I should’ve known. He was never one for vegetables, but he never complained, never once let on how much he was sacrificing for me.

This morning, I finally told him. I wanted meat. I didn’t expect him to jump on it the way he did, but his eyes lit up like I had given him permission to do something he’d been waiting for.

Saul found Grandpa’s old hunting crossbow. He’s been messing with it for days, fixing the strings, adjusting the sights. Maybe part of him has been itching for an excuse to hunt, and now he had one. I told him he didn’t have to. I didn’t want him going out in the middle of a snowstorm just to satisfy my craving. But I couldn’t stop him even if I wanted to.

Deep down, I knew it wasn’t just for me. Saul wanted this, too. He’s never been the type to enjoy living off of plants alone. Hunting gave him purpose, made him feel like he was providing in a way that mattered.

"All the sacrifices he’s made just for me..."

Hours passed. The sun began dipping behind the trees, and the forest outside turned a shade darker. My stomach twisted—not from hunger, but from worry.

Where was he?

The snowfall had only gotten worse, and I started pacing near the window, my breath fogging up the glass. What if something happened? What if he fell? Got lost? Got caught? My mind spiraled through worst-case scenarios until--

There.

Through the swirling snow, Saul appeared at the gate, dragging something behind him. My heart nearly stopped. Then I saw it—a deer. He did it.

Dinner tonight was unlike anything we’ve had in months. Saul didn’t just bring home the deer—he prepped it, skinned it, and cooked it himself. I offered to help, but he wouldn’t let me. “You just take care of the sides. I’ve got this.” And honestly? I didn’t argue. He’s always been amazing at steaks.

The venison was perfect. Tender, rich, and so unbelievably satisfying. We sat together at the table, eating slowly, savoring every bite. It felt like a celebration, like we had conquered something. For the first time in weeks, we were full.
But the night wasn’t over yet.

After we cleaned up, Saul disappeared into the other room and returned with something I hadn’t seen in years—Grandpa’s old classical guitar. I had noticed him cleaning it, oiling the wood, adjusting the strings over the past few days, but I never asked why.

Now, I know.

He sat down, took a deep breath, and played.
And then… he sang.

It was a song he wrote for me and our baby. His voice was deep and steady, filling the cabin with warmth. I held my belly as I listened, my heart swelling with something I hadn’t felt in a long time—pure happiness.

I don’t remember how the night ended, only that I cried, I laughed, I held him close. It was such a blessed day. For the first time in so long, I felt complete.

I am so glad Saul is with me. I just couldn’t ask for more.

- Samantha

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